When I was pregnant with my first baby, at some point I decided I wanted to breastfeed.

I decided I wouldn't breastfeed past 1 year or when the "baby could ask for it", whatever came first. Little did I know, I would go on to nurse for 3 years. I don't remember there being a distinct reason I wanted to nurse, necessarily. I just remember planning on doing it, checking the breastfeeding option on my birth plan and not really preparing from there. I bought a book that I read maybe 5 pages out of and that was that. Looking back, there are so many things I wish I knew then. 

If only I had known how difficult breastfeeding could be  

I was in pain for the first 6 weeks of my breastfeeding relationship. My baby was healthy and gaining so well, likely because she was at the breast every hour for 45 minutes. (Thats a 15 minute break, people. Thats insanity.) I remember everyone saying that by 6 weeks postpartum, you should have found your stride. It would be easier and magical and you'd be happy you chose this. So at 6 weeks postpartum, I walked into a La Leche League meeting and asked why that wasn't the case for me. They were so helpful and engulfed me with support and options. I will be forever grateful to those leaders who walked alongside me. I should have reached out sooner, but I was uneducated and didn't know I should have been seeking help sooner. 

Breastfeeding would not have been as difficult if I had found support while I was still pregnant. During my pregnancy, I wish I would have found the amazing Facebook communities of our local La Leche League of Erie and La Leche League of Meadville. I wish I would have gathered opinions and phone numbers of local IBCLC's. I wish I would have connected with more pregnant parents. Its easy to find resources but difficult when you're newly postpartum, running low on sleep and still sore from, you know, birthing a human being. 

If only I had known how determined I would need to be

I didn't know how tough breastfeeding would be and I surely didn't know that my success was based a lot on how bad I personally wanted to continue. Breastfeeding was a lifestyle change. I mean parenting was, too. But breastfeeding added another layer. If I didn't nurse or pump, my breasts would swell and become engorged and painful. I needed to have a plan. I found personally that my plan involved getting comfortable with nursing in public. We planned date nights around feeding times so we didn't need to worry about many bottles. All of these things were relatively easy once I found what worked for me (holla at those awesome manual hand pumps!!) but if I didn't have the determination to continue, I wouldn't have made it as far. As a La Leche League leader, I've worked with moms in so many different work and lifestyle situations. It astounds me how well these parents incorporate breastfeeding into their lives. It may take some troubleshooting, but theres almost always a solution! 

If only I had known how much support I would need 

When I decided to try breastfeeding during my first pregnancy, I really had no clue what I was getting into. I didn't really prepare myself and I'd actually never even seen another person nursing aside from photos. No one in my family breastfed and my friends either didn't have kids yet or were pregnant alongside me. My birth doula alerted me to Erie's La Leche League group but I was too socially anxious to attend alone in a group of strangers. 

Once my baby was earth side, it was clear I was going to need some help. My partner was so supportive. He got me snacks and drinks and joked alongside me as we were astonished at the size of breasts that were severely engorged. My family helped clean my house and cook me meals so I could devote the time I needed. My friends encouraged me. I had a great team rooting for me and every bit of it was needed to help me get through the hard points of breastfeeding. 

If I had only known how much I would grow to love it  

Breastfeeding my babies has been one of my fondest memories of parenting. I remember being awake in the middle of the night, seemingly alone in the world, with a precious human being I created then nourished with just MY body. How incredible is that? How divine. Breastfeeding came with many challenges but it gave me such a great feeling of accomplishment. We bonded well too. My daughter was a high needs baby. What that meant for us, is that she cried about 75% of her awake time. Being able to breastfeed her gave me peace. It gave me a dose of oxytocin to help me remember why I loved her and why she was so precious on the hard days. Though it was at times difficult, breastfeeding helped me stay calm and keep my parenting goals in mind. 

Breastfeeding is the biological norm for babies. Even though its biologically normal, its not always the best choice for every parent. If breastfeeding isn't the best choice for your family, that is okay! There are so many ways to healthily feed an infant.

I am so thankful for my success with nursing, partly because it taught me how I could overcome huge struggles in parenting. Nursing has taught me the importance of taking daily, intentional time to bond with my kiddos. Even in the middle of hectic days.

What is something you wish every new parent knew about breastfeeding? Share in the comments below!