How does a birth doula come alongside you in your labor without replacing your partner or other special person?

I'll tell you one thing, in our experience, dads/partners have loved having a doula present!

Watching someone you love give birth is a huge step to any relationship! You’ll both experience so many highs and lows during the labor & birth process. It can be difficult to predict how you will act during labor. Each baby you carry will hold a completely unique story about the day they were born. Birth partners may have never seen a transformation such as this... they're seeing a side of you they’ve never seen before!

So what does a birth doula do to help you, as dad/partner?

Laboring at home:

We can give you a break so you can prepare the last minute items, throw the phone chargers in the bags, get siblings to childcare, get pets situated, etc. Your partner is in good hands laboring with the doula.
We can prepare you a healthy meal while you help your partner through the beginning stages of labor.
In the event of home birth, we can set up the birth pool or anything else that needs taken care of.
We're constantly researching and learning here at NPD. Our doulas are well versed in birth and postpartum. Fielding questions like "does this look normal?!" to "is she supposed to be making that noise?" are regular phrases around here... we're happy to help calm all your fears!

Arriving at the hospital:

We can help the laboring person cope with contractions and stay calm in the car while you focus on safely driving them to the hospital.
We can help your partner get into the hospital while you park the car and grab the bags.
Sometimes labor progresses quickly. You know your partner better than anyone. Sometimes you'll need to give medical information to the nurse as the doula helps your partner focus on the work of labor.
Your doula can help you make the hospital room a bit more home-like. We know how to turn down the lights, where to find the extra blankets and pillows and how to help the transition from home to hospital be as smooth as possible.

Laboring at the hospital:

As your partner labors, it can be difficult to know what to do. Your doula is happy to show you just where to press or massage, what you can do to help your loved one and also tell you what might not work at that particular stage of labor.
If you're feeling tired from all of that massaging or if the experience gets a little intense for you, we are happy to give you a break.
Sometimes dads and partners are completely overlooked during the birth process. We cater to the whole family by reminding you how important it is to eat, stay hydrated and take restroom breaks. The laboring parent is certainly important, but no one wants you to pass out during the actual birth from not eating all day!
Our doulas are experts in birth. We've attended births before and know what to expect. You, however, probably don’t do this for a living and may or may not have read the baby books and taken the childbirth classes. If you're feeling queasy or uneasy, we're happy to help you find a role in the birth room that enables you to be comfortable, relaxed, and excited to meet baby!
Our doulas are great about capturing sweet moments between you and your partner with your phone or camera.
If you want to watch the birth of your baby, we're happy to support your partner and encourage her while pushing.
Doulas are experts in observation. We can sense when someone in the room isn't jiving with the laboring person... or with you! If your mom or mother in law is overwhelming you, we're happy to keep them busy while you get a break. This experience only happens once. We want it to be as close to what you want as possible!
Speaking of friends and family, our doulas are happy to text or call labor updates to everyone who needs to be in the know! At a recent birth we helped initiate a video call with mom’s sister who was out of the country and wanting to check on her BFF during the birth.

After the birth:

Once the baby is born, mom's hard work isn't quite done. The placenta comes out after a few more contractions. Occasionally, this part of birth takes a little longer than anticipated. You may be asked to hold baby while the doctors and nurses work with mom to keep her safe and healthy. Your doula can support you by showing you how to hold your new, tiny baby or can support mom as she works through the last stage of birth.
We're happy to tidy up the room and get you the items you need or transfer your belongings to the recovery room, depending on your hospital's policies.
We're happy to set up an area for you to rest. We know how marathon labors can make a birth partner exhausted!
We're happy to assist with breastfeeding or bottle feeding. We can give you tips on things to do to support them and their choice.
We LOVE being able to take those first family photos once baby arrives.
Occasionally, a mother and baby will need to be separated for medical reasons. Your doula can stay with the mother while you keep an eye on baby in the NICU.

And that's just during the labor and birth!

Our doulas work with families during pregnancy at a prenatal appointment where we get to know you and your partner. Your wishes are important to us and we want you to be comfortable with both your main doula and your backup doula as you enter this exciting day of your life. During the postpartum period (which is just a fancy way of saying "the 12 months after you have a baby"), we'll come to your home and chat with you about the experience, answer your questions about newborns and postpartum care (diapering, swaddling, breastfeeding), educate you on postpartum depression and anxiety and help you feel supported through this transition.

To summarize, we recognize you as an integral part of the labor and birth process! Its hard to imagine what this experience will be like. Hiring a doula may help you feel more comfortable, satisfied and confident. Our team approach helps to create an environment where you can become powerfully bonded to your partner and new baby.

Birth partners may love doulas, but doulas love birth partners even more!

Author: Mariah Post // June 2016 Updated/Revised November 2021 by Chrissy Dougan