How does it feel to be a mom?

My answer: Heavy.

It feels heavy with responsibility as you try to navigate all of the choices of parenting to keep our children safe and protected in this cruel, broken world. 

It feels heavy with passion as you finally get her to say 1, 2, 3, 4 instead of 1, 2, 3, 6. They are learning what you're teaching them. You can be so proud of what you've done to teach them these little things.

It feels heavy as you have to make medical decisions that are hard and may cause your baby pain for a better outcome in the long run. 

It feels heavy with guilt after you've raised your voice one to many times or slammed the door or said something you thought you'd never say to your child. 

It feels heavy and impossible when you're rocking your baby to sleep 4 hours after bedtime and he's still not shutting his eyes.

It feels heavy as you try to stay calm while your toddler is leaving a trail of poop through the living room, through the kitchen and ending at your feet... where you're waiting to put her coat on to run out the door. (Already late, of course!) 

It feels heavy with the extra weight it puts on your relationship with your partner as you haven't seen each other and the kid's needs are just too demanding for you to even have a conversation. 

But most of all, for me, it feels heavy with love. Love that you can never even fathom until it happens. Love that makes you literally want to burst at the seams. Love that helps you feel connected and grounded to another human being, so strongly. A love that makes me feel so blessed to feel so weighed down. 

So to my two little "nuggets": I hope you never feel the weight of the world, only the weight of my love, that grounds you as you soar to do the incredible things I know you're going to do.

Mariah Post is the owner of NWPA Doulas. She is a birth, bereavement and postpartum doula, childbirth educator and placenta specialist. She has a loving, hardworking husband and 2 young children.